THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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