I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
