last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I can't trust your balls anymore.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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