he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
It's just like the Real World with babies
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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