Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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