you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
