Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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