He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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