I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
