Pappa wants mamma naked
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
