I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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