Moan for me like Helen Keller
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize