Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
it was like eating out sand paper
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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