just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
