woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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