the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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