I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
