Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Terrible idea I love it
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
