get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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