How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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