So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
