We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
