Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
