i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I think my nap took me to another dimension
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
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