i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
