I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
