I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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