Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
