yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
