I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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