Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
And then he peed in my hair
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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