I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Mom said you looked used
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
