Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Non-Jews are for practice
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
