Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
