Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
