Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Randomize
