I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Randomize
