plz talk dirty to me
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
