end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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