the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
