ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
