Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
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