just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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