rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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