Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I am puke
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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