guys are only as good as the porn they watch
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
