Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I want to be your penis for a week.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
