Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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