i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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