His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
