There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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