And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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