Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
