home. puking in laundry basket.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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