Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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