i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Randomize
