There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
